Affair Proofing Your Child's Marriage

"Can a parent actually affair proof their child's marriage?"  We're certainly supposed to try.  As parents we must have a mind set to take steps to affair proof the future marriages of our children.  Today's parent must take the training task of adult preparation seriously.

As our culture becomes more and more lax about commitment to family, or anything other than bringing pleasure to self, parents must decide to prepare the child for battle.  Arming them to keep the commits they make.  Training them to fight the temptation battles before they actually face them.

When the army begins training a young recruit, the trainer doesn't let the young person select what he or she thinks they might want to learn.  The Army decides ahead of time what the recruit will need to know in order to survive the battles.  Then the drill instructors do just what their name implies, they drill the recruits in these lessens.  First they practice at their base. Their training includes simulation of the battle conditions the recruits might face.  Finally they are dropped into jungles and get to see how they do.  But they do get to come home (back to base) to discuss their difficulties and challenges. 

The Army does this to prepare the soldiers for battle, as should the parent.  The first step is to assess the battles the child will be facing in the adult world.  Most assuredly it is getting more difficult for today's adult to deal with the battles of temptation.  Temptation is the bullet that attempts to find it's way past the armor of commitment.  One of the great adult conflicts boils down to extra-affair verses commitment to marriage.  Having the training and discipline to stay faithful in marriage verses giving into temptations and desires.

To properly fight this battle, training needs to take place in two areas.  One is discipline; having been taught the discipline to fight the urges.  The other is purpose.  Understanding why I am responsible to maintain my commitments and who I am responsible to. Fighting the urges and maintaining the commitments and vows you make are not only for the sake of the marriage, but rather for the sake of the more significant commitment to our Lord.  Having that understanding will help when the marriage relationship is in a slump. 

This kind of training takes place when your child starts soccer and wants to quit before the season is over.  Fight your own parental battle of doing what's easy, keep them in soccer until the season is over.  It's not about soccer.  It's all about the training process of finishing the race.

Training the discipline of doing what you don't want to do because it's the right thing to do, is helped by giving the child chores.  He doesn't want to take out the garbage, it's much more pleasurable to play than it is to be held accountable to do chores.  But he knows he has to do them or there will be a consequence.
All during this training process, we must be giving the child a higher goal, a higher audience to perform for.  We must give them the understanding that God has a great plan for their lives and we don't want to miss it by caving into temptation.  Nor do we want to bring Him shame by claiming to be in His army yet disserting the cause.

In the words of young Joseph when his boss's wife was trying to seduce him into bed, he was able to fight the temptation and said, "how could I do such a thing and sin against God" (Genesis 39:9b).  There are two important realities here.   Joseph not only knew what he should do, but he had also been given the personal discipline to do what he was supposed to do.  The battle for the hearts, minds and bodies (Luke 10:27) of our children will be a tremendous ongoing fire fight.  We must prepare them for these battles.