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A Life Restored - Billy For Mike and Dana Hawkins, house parents of Boys' Home 2, morning devotion time is one of their favorite times of the day.  With a great passion to share Christ's love with the boys in their home, .... By: Sheridan HousePosted: 03/01/2010

Family Values 5K - Stepping Out for Children & Families On Saturday, February 6, 2010, 230 Family Values supporters took their marks on the Sheridan House Family Ministries campus for the 2nd Annual Family Values 5K.  Excited by the challenge to "Step Out For Children & Families," .... By: Amy EvansPosted: 02/28/2010

Valentine's Day Offers A Great Parent Training Opportunity. February is love month...whatever that means.  Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated worldwide on February 14th.  It wasn't until recently that I discovered there are many women who feel pain on Valentine's Day.  It reminds them that .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/07/2010

The Great February Valentine Contest Children love point boards and fun contests - especially contests where other people have to go to a centrally located poster board or clipboard and check a document when someone else has done something.  So, here's .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/31/2010

Celebrating Restored Lives Mario, Cassie, and Angel all took different paths and made questionable decisions that led them to our program.  Yet, one thing they have in common is that their lives have been restored; and today, they are celebrating .... By: Amy EvansPosted: 01/30/2010

January is Parental Half-Time If you are a parent of a school-aged child, January isn't really the beginning of your family's year; it is half-time.  Your year began in August as the children started school and all their extra-curricular activities.  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2010

Trust - A New Year's Resolution Doesn't it seem that it's practically impossible to turn on the news, read a paper, or surf the internet without seeing headlines that blare, "We've Got Trouble."  I remember vividly the 1960's American television series Lost in .... By: Scott BarrettPosted: 12/31/2009

Single Parent Ministry - Christmas Toy Shoppe Outreach "Mom, I really would love to have an iPod for Christmas this year; it's the only present I really want."   Ana, a single mom, sadly responded, "Son, I would love to be able to purchase an iPod for .... By: Miriam DuamePosted: 12/21/2009

Upside Down Christmas - Is Giving Better Than Receiving? "It is more blessed to give rather than receive?"  You've got to be kidding!  What kind of a statement is that?  That's ridiculous!  Of course, it's more awesome to receive than it is to give .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2009

Home For The Holidays Loving Our Weird Family Members I remember hearing Rosemary say, "Bob, I just need for you to behave!" It was our first Thanksgiving and we actually had a home for Rosemary's family to come and visit.  My expectations of .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2009

Will You Help A Child? Will You Help A Child and A Family This Holiday Season? Earlier in this issue, Bob shared about some of the issues we all face when we gather the extended family around for that special meal during the holiday .... By: Scott BarrettPosted: 10/30/2009

Lives of Significance The Role of a Behavioral Specialist in the Sheridan House Residential Program One reason why the Sheridan House Residential Program is so effective is because of role the behavioral specialist plays in the lives of the boys and girls.  .... By: Brian VannPosted: 10/30/2009

Halloween: To Dress up or not to Dress up Fewer things are more controversial in the Christian parenting community then dealing with October 31.  Should we ignore Halloween and act like it doesn't exist or should parents just go with the flow and get their .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2009

Boys Residential Program - Why Home? When Michael first learned he was being enrolled in the Sheridan House Residential Program, his reaction was typical:  "I'm not going to a program!  You're not putting me in a boot camp!"  Indeed, when many children hear the word .... By: Brian VannPosted: 09/30/2009

Another Changed Life When one hears about the amazing, life-changing experiences the children encounter while in the Sheridan House Residential Program, it is difficult to control the overwhelming sense of joy.  As a behavioral specialist in one of the .... By: Julianna Guevara, Behavioral SpecialistPosted: 09/30/2009

From A Building, To A Home This past month we celebrated the opening of our 5th youth home here on the campus at Sheridan House. We are overwhelmed with the blessing of this truly magnificent building.  For another 10 boys who are at .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/30/2009

Parenting and the Social Networking Child We've been receiving more and more questions on the topic of "social networking" and, more specifically, many parents have asked whether or not social networking is a bad thing for their kids. When the topic of .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/02/2009

Acronyms for Parents of Tech Savvy Kids Our college age son has been home from school the past few weeks and I said something to him that he thought was funny (which is pretty unusual) and his response was, "LOL." That's what he actually .... By: Scott BarrettPosted: 09/01/2009

The Use of Social Media and how it affects our kids This month's issue of The Family Advocate touches on one of the more current issues affecting the family - the use of Social Media and how it affects our kids.  The lingo and acronyms alone are overwhelming. .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2009

Residential Summer Program - Boys and Girls The Boys' and Girls' Summer Program 2009 has been an amazing time.  The children have stayed busy learning, playing, and creating.  While the boys and the girls have been participating in academic classes, they have had .... By: Brain VannPosted: 08/01/2009

Coaching Your Child Through a Winning School Year The Four "R’s" of a Winning School Year Parents could learn a lot from professional football coaches.  Right now before the season begins, coaches aren't just thinking about getting through it.  They're already busy working to help every .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2009

Raising Confident Kids The 2009-2010 school year is upon us.  Parents certainly won't miss the school year with the abundance of homework, projects and programs; but it's easy for parents to miss the more important "parenting year" if they .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2009

From Summertime To The Start Of School The start of school is just around the corner and it’s time to start preparing your children for a successful transition from the carefree days of summer to the routine of school.  Taking active steps toward .... By: Terri HaeffnerPosted: 07/31/2009

Sexting: What Parents Should Know "Sexting?  What is that?"  That was one mother's first reaction when she heard a recent news story about some middle school kids charged with the "crime."  Sadly it was her 12-year-old daughter who said, "Mom, a .... By: Victoria Womack L.M.H.C.Posted: 07/06/2009

What Parents Can Do To Get Out In Front Of Sexting Knowing that sexting exists and how to check for it is extremely important.  But each parent will want to do more to protect their teens.  Is there such a thing as sexting prevention? The quick answer is .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/06/2009

A Word from Dad - Give a Blessing This Father's Day, dads have a great opportunity to change a life and break a cycle. The lead article of this June Family Advocate is a true story about a dad blessing his son.  Every child wants .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2009

The Blessing John, our rock climbing guide, gave us a 24 hour warning.  By the next evening each of the five fathers who were on the 6 day adventure hike with his son was to write and read a formal blessing for .... By: Scott BarrettPosted: 05/31/2009

Families Are In Crisis Dear friends of Sheridan House, Each month you receive an eight page Family Advocate from Sheridan House.  The purpose behind this monthly publication is to help your family tackle the challenges of today's culture.  I know many of you have used .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2009

Love Letters Having my wife away for the last 10 days has gotten me to thinking a lot about our relationship. More specifically, how much I missed her and how I wanted to show her that when she get home. I did .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 04/26/2009

Start Your Own Affair At Home Carol and Barry had just finished watching a movie, and they were sitting at either end of the same couch.   As they both stared straight ahead, Carol spoke wist­fully "That couple seemed so happy, " She sighed. "Their affair looked absolutely .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/08/2009

The Only Worthy Philosophy of Life When Tim was a boy, his father was an executive with a major corporation. The family lived very comfortably and Tim was taught, "If you want something in life, Son, you have to work for it." Tim's dad and mom .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/07/2009

Daddy, Is This What A Man Does? Picture a dad at a professional football game with some of his friends.  This particular dad decided to bring his ten year old son to the game.  During half-time the team’s cheerleaders come out on the side lines. The dad .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/07/2009

The Overprotective Christian Parent The Overprotective Christian Parent "We just didn't want Brenda to make any mistakes that would mar her for life," said Mr. and Mrs. Michaels. So they kept Brenda busy in church activities, sent her to Christian schools, and allowed her to .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2009

Choosing To Be Friends Spouses must choose to be friends. Now doesn't that sound ridiculous? Of course we're friends. We're married. We do things together. Let's face it, we must be friends.   Let's take a minute to look at how friends treat each other. Let's .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2009

What About Fun? Remember Fun?      It was Friday night. I was sitting in my special green chair, bored to death. Three times Rosemary had asked me, "What do you want to do tonight?" I responded creatively with, "I don't know. What do you want .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2009

They're Watching      "Are your parents going to be home?" sixteen-year-old Darla asked our daughter. Darla was coming over to spend Friday night at our house.      "Why?" Torrey asked.      "'Cause the last time I spent the night we played 'Gestures’ .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2009

They're Watching - Entertainment Was Family      "Are your parents going to be home?" sixteen-year-old Darla asked our daughter. Darla was coming over to spend Friday night at our house.      "Why?" Torrey asked.      "'Cause the last time I spent the night we played 'Gestures’ .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2009

First Love, Then Make Love "I'll tell you what is the ultimate foreplay for me," Elaine said, "and it will probably only add to the confusion." "You come in the door at night and give me a no-strings-attached hug. Then you say that you have already .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2009

Friends Do The Nasty Jobs - Without Being Asked “I am sick and tired of having to tell you when I need help around the house,” Diane blurted out, fighting back the tears. “ If you don’t tell me, how am I supposed to know?” Mike responded in bewilderment. .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2009

Lovemaking From A Woman's Perspective Bob would say this chapter is about sex. I prefer to say this is the chapter that talks about making love. That, in and of itself, shows how differently the genders approach the whole topic of sex in marriage. To .... By: Rosemary BarnesPosted: 03/01/2009

Sex From A Man's Perspective    Bill was what could be called a typical male in today's culture. He grew up in the Midwest, in the home of a businessman. His father never sat him down and talked to him about sex. He meant to, but .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2009

Affairs We Never Knew We Were Having The year was 1979. I had been working as Executive Direc­tor of Sheridan House Family Ministries for five years. I liked saying and writing that title, Executive Director. It was something that I used to define myself. I was proud of .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2009

People Chow Recipe People Chow is an incredibly delicious (a.k.a. not healthy) snack that you are going to love! Always remember to enjoy this treat in moderation. 12 Cups of Rice Chex Cereal2 Cups of Chocolate Chips1 Cup of Creamy Peanut Butter (SKIPPY!)1/2 C .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 03/01/2009

Single Mom Receives a Donated Car Have you ever had your car in the repair shop for days?  If you were unable to afford a rental car, borrow a car from someone, or have a very good friend willing to be a chauffeur, .... By: Miriam DuamePosted: 03/01/2009

Love Them No Matter What It is significant that the child comes to a point where he realizes that no matter what he does, he will be held responsible for his behavior. But it is even more significant that a child sees that his parents .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/27/2009

Don't Be A Sluggard Economists and politicians have been careful not to use the “D” word concerning our economy.  Instead they say that our economy is experiencing the worst crisis since the Great Depression.  Here’s the truth, our country is in a depression. However, .... By: Bill StalionsPosted: 02/27/2009

I Can Do It One Sunday morning I knelt down to tie my three-and-a-half-year-old’s shoes, and he said those magic words of independence: “I can do it, Daddy.” I knew Robey could not tie his shoes properly and we were on the verge of being .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/23/2009

What About Spontaneity?   Doing something on the spur of the moment means we need to leave our comfort zone. Many of us have developed a Friday-night marital routine. Basically, this routine could be titled "The Journey of Choosing Boredom." To be spontaneous and .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/22/2009

Dads: What Are Your Kids Going To Remember About You? Depending on your individual circumstances, your definition of “Dad” may be skewed in any number of ways. Maybe your dad was busy at work until it was just about time for you to go to bed. He’d give you a .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 02/09/2009

The Best Present You Can Give There are so many things that kids desire today. One of the most frustrating things for me happens when I sit down to watch television with my boys. Some new toy gets advertised, and one of them reacts with a .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 02/02/2009

Rock-Solid Marriage: Bilingual Listening Many couples attempt to communicate about their marital problems. She says, "I think we have to talk about our marriage." He says, "Okay, let's talk." When they finally sit down to talk, one of two things usually takes place. In .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2009

Are You Feeding The Fire? Dieting is something that has become just a part of life for many of us. It's late on Sunday night. We just finished eating that second bowl of ice cream even though we swore after the third piece of pizza .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 02/01/2009

Breakfast Casserole 6 ea Large Eggs 2 cup milk 1 tsp. salt 1 tsp. dry mustard 2 ea slices white bread, cubed 1 lb sausage browned 1 cup sharp or mild cheddar shreds Beat eggs, add milk, salt and mustard, mixing well. .... By: Bill StalionsPosted: 02/01/2009

When Does 2 + 2 = 5? Michael was sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework while his mother was preparing dinner. “Mom, does 2 + 2 = 5?”  Sharon took four of the carrot strips she had been cutting and placed them in two pairs .... By: William StallionsPosted: 01/31/2009

Year of the Father This past election year we heard the word "leadership" repeated many times - not just concerning elected officials.  We were looking for financial leadership, corporate leadership, and even energy leadership.  Every day, we heard about a change .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/31/2009

Counting Your Blessings For most people Christmas is over and the post holiday blues have come for a visit.  The decorations have been taken down and the jubilation of the holiday season seems to be a distant memory.  The presents don't seem new .... By: William C. StalionsPosted: 01/06/2009

Daily Devotions Residential Program Mornings in the Sheridan House Children's Homes always bustle with activity.  With the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen, the children busily finish getting ready for school and complete their assigned house chores.  After eating breakfast .... By: Brian VannPosted: 01/05/2009

Depression: Finding Hope in the Season of "Winter" Christmas decorations are back in the boxes, family members have all gone home, and the reality of another year gone by is settling in quietly.  Suddenly, there's a feeling of sadness that hovers over like a cloud.  .... By: Victoria Womack, L.M.H.C.Posted: 01/05/2009

Make It an Event "Things were different when we dated in college," Rosemary said one night. Dutiful husband that I am, I took my cue. "What do you mean?" Rosemary replied, "You took more time to prepare to be with me back then. It was as .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2009

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items .... By: UnknownPosted: 01/01/2009

The Process of Passion Building Passion is an extremely volatile, very powerful emotion in life. This emotion has caused nations to go to war. It has turned the tide of major sporting events and sent people out of movie theaters weeping. In the lovemaking relationship .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2009

Strawberry Bread Recipe  3 C flour 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp salt 1 tsp cinnamon 2 C sugar 1 tsp vanilla 2 C fresh or frozen strawberries 4 eggs well beaten 1 1/4 C oil1 1/4 C chopped pecans Sift dry ingredients into large bowl. Make a well, mix remaining .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 01/01/2009

It Isn't Just for You Sometimes health and fitness can seem a little selfish. After all, we are spending 45 minutes (or more) a few times per week doing something just for ourselves. Selfish, right?   Here is something to think about the next time you decide .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 01/01/2009

Zucchini Quesadillas 1 large onion chopped ½ cup chopped sweet red pepper butter 2 cups shredded zucchini 2 Tbsp. taco seasoning 8 flour tortillas (7 inch) 8 ounces shredded pepper Jack cheese (for milder taste use Monterey Jack) Salsa Sour cream Chicken .... By: Britton McPhersonPosted: 01/01/2009

Time for Change "Change" is the buzzword that took the election in an unexpected direction.  For a year we heard, "It's time for change."  If you're the parent of an infant, the word "change" reminds you of a diaper:  as in .... By: Dr Bob BarnesPosted: 12/31/2008

Family Devotions How-To By: Amy Evans Interested in starting daily devotions in your home?  Here are some helpful hints to get started.  Schedule a meeting of the minds.  Gather the family together to discuss the topics of interest and how .... By: Amy EvansPosted: 12/31/2008

A Simple Financial Plan for 2009 Not very long ago I was visiting with one of our Board members in the financial services business. As we talked about the state of the economy and the outlook for the coming year, I happened to notice a stack .... By: William C. StalionsPosted: 12/18/2008

All I Want For Christmas is... What? The answer to that question could determine the success or failure of your Christmas experience.  As a parent, the question is: What do we really want for Christmas?  Don't we want something that will last on into .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/15/2008

Making Fitness Fun Being physically fit doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking hour in the gym. In fact, to enjoy fitness you don’t even have to step foot in a gym. Sure, going to gym makes things a whole lot easier .... By: UnknownPosted: 12/01/2008

My Expectations Went Out To Lunch I usually spend Tuesday mornings at home writing while Rosemary edits the chapter written the previous week. tuesdays have become very special days for us as we work together, and we often end up going out to lunch. Every now and .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2008

Where Does Spanking Fit In? In college and graduate school, I was hesitant to consider spanking as a viable form of punishment. I agreed with all the standard responses to spanking. "Spanking is so barbaric," I'd heard people say. "Doesn't spanking just teach a child .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2008

Do What You Can-When You Can It's hard to keep up with you fitness program all of the time. Things happen. Work gets crazy. The kids need to be in 52 different places-all at the same time. Depending on where you are in life, these things .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 12/01/2008

Is Christmas Out of Your Control? Do you have enough money to spend on gifts this Christmas? Maybe the tight economy might just be what you need to make the right gift decisions this season. There is nothing like a change in the rules .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2008

Don't Miss Christmas Getting ready for Christmas is not about developing a shopping list.  In fact, our misguided focus is exactly why we seem to be missing out on receiving and celebrating the greatest Christmas Gift that was ever given.  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/23/2008

Nose Breathing: Cardio Made Easy             Thinking back, as I was growing up, there was nothing I hated more than running, except maybe the dentist. Okay, I definitely hated going to the dentist more, but it was close!  Having a nickname like “Chunk”, you can imagine .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 11/01/2008

Waiting For The Right Time Growing up with sports in my life allowed me tremendous opportunities to learn, to succeed, to fail, to stay fit, and even make a few bucks. Having three boys, the question often comes up, “When are you going to start .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 11/01/2008

Overnight Caramel French Toast 1 cup brown sugar 1/2 cup butter 2 tbsp. light corn syrup 12 slices of bread 6 eggs beaten 1&1/2 cup milk 1 tsp. vanilla 1/4 tsp. salt Combine sugar, butter & corn syrup in a small saucepan. cook over medium .... By: Recipe SubmissionPosted: 11/01/2008

Some Inspiration to Stay Motivated There are a bunch of articles you can find with tips on staying motivated with your new workout routine. To save you some time, I’ll give you a couple of quickies: 1.        Set a goal and let other people know about .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 11/01/2008

Whole Wheat Brownies Here is a healthy twist on some yummy brownies thanks to Kisha Maher, one of our Girl's Residential House Parents.   Whole Wheat Brownies   3/4 c. butter1 1/2 tsp. vanilla1/2 c. cocoa1/2 tsp. salt 3/4 cup dark chocolate chips (semi sweet will work too)1 .... By: Kisha MaherPosted: 11/01/2008

Golf Challenge Thank You Dear Sheridan House Supporter: Thank you for supporting the fourth annual Golf Challenge to benefit children and families through the marvelous work of Sheridan House Family Ministries. The results from the Golf Challenge are in; I teed off at 6:45 .... By: Rick WeberPosted: 11/01/2008

Zesty Chicken Chili Ingredients Nonstick cooking spray 8  ounces skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into 1-inch pieces 1  15-ounce can white kidney beans (cannellini beans) or Great Northern beans, rinsed and drained 1-1/4  cups reduced-sodium chicken broth 1/4  cup chopped onion 1/3  cup .... By: Better HomesPosted: 10/31/2008

Are Traditions Important? We are heading into a season of opportunity. For some families, Thanksgiving and Christmas can help define who they are. For others, these holidays are little more than eating and expense. Where do family traditions fit in? .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/29/2008

Goal Setting  One of the most important things to remember as you are setting your goals is to make them challenging, realistic, and specific.  You’ll want to have a target date for the completion of your goal.  Again… you need to be .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 10/01/2008

Making Your Child's Vote Count Who taught you how to vote? Do you vote along the lines of your parents' political party? Do you do your own research or do you allow the media to decide what information is vital? A question .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/26/2008

Imagination Rejuvenation Remember the adventures you experienced as a child? You were fearless. Nothing was too big for you to battle. Your imagination swept you away to far off lands and you were certain you could conquer the many .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/25/2008

Extreme Behavior: When Children Cut Themselves "Cutting is the new smoking among adolescents today." Take a moment to consider this frightening concept and its possible ramifications. The clinical term for cutting is called "self-mutilation," and it is more common than one may think. It is estimated .... By: Victoria Womack, L.M.H.C.Posted: 08/28/2008

Help! My Child Might Be Cutting Today, "cutting" has become a very private reaction to personal pain for many teens, especially girls. They feel unequipped to deal with or express their pain so cutting themselves has become an outlet. The teen is reacting to pain inappropriately, .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/28/2008

7 Steps To Starting The School Year Strong Beginnings are extremely important because they set the stage for what is to come. They determine whether one will be set up for success and fulfillment or for failure and frustration. As a new school year begins, it is a .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2008

Should Parents Raise A Patriot? With all the controversy about decisions made by governmental leaders both now and after the election, many parents question whether or not they should teach patriotism to their children. They wonder if patriotism is merely blind acceptance of the ruling .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2008

Dads, The Heroes We Need Today Father's Day ought to be Hero's Day - a day when the traditional role of "Dad" is celebrated so the next generation can see it for what it needs to be. It is time for each of us with children .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2008

What Do I Do About Temper Tantrums? Picture yourself in the grocery store with your three year old. You turn down the next aisle – and you both spot the cookies at the same time. The visual stimulus, though identical, produces two very different responses. You are .... By: Dr Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2008

When Parents Don't Agree On Parenting "The disruptive behavior I could handle. The most stressful time as a parent is when my husband and I don’t agree how to handle the child’s behavior. When my husband and I don’t agree the whole system shuts down." That's absolutely .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2008

Right To Privacy? How much privacy should my child have? A child screams, “This is my room – get out!” What’s a parent to do? A teenager challenges, “I can’t believe you went through my drawers!” How should a parent feel, and react? The issue of privacy for our children is .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2008

Age of Innocence? Is Your Child growing Up Without a Childhood? What would life be like without a childhood? The years of imagination, wonder and innocence that shape every one of us, gone. Would the absence of this stage of life subsequently reshape adulthood into years of insecurity and cynicism? My .... By: Torrey RobertsPosted: 02/01/2008

Are You Listening? Why have America's children turned to electronics for companionship? Today's parents have very mixed emotions about the technology available to their children. On the one hand parents are grateful to have access to portable DVD players, games, I-Pods, etc. It .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2008

Recipe for Daddy's Cake This started out as a great coffee cake recipe that my Mom used to make. The thing is, when I got married and my wife started to make it, I asked her to make a few "modifications" (ie. MORE CHOCOLATE!) to really .... By: Chuck MatsoffPosted: 12/12/2007

Step Eleven: Teaching My Child About Sex As you look at our culture, it's obvious we are not sure about the role or the purpose that our sexuality plays.  For far too long the Christian home has attempted to teach a child about sex with one word: .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2007

Step Ten: Teach Your Child to Handle Peer Pressure "Help! My child just got invited to a party!" Parents aren't really afraid of parties; it's the massive pool of peer pressure that strikes fear into the hearts of concerned parents. Parents handle parties in one of three ways. Some parents .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2007

Step Nine: It's About Tme The school year has just begun, and parents, you are already stressing: "There just isn't enough time to do all the things we need to do!" Between school, sports, music lessons (or have you already dropped that one?), and church .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2007

Step Eight: Train Them to Think Wisely "Dad, how do you know which way is right?" my young daughter asked as we looked through a National Geographic magazine, scanning an article about evolution. Her question is significant, isn't it? Where do we go for answers? How do .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2007

Step Seven: Teach Them to Use Money or Money Will Use Them Think about the most challenging obstacle you faced when you became an "adult."  It is during childhood that an adult needs to spend time preparing for the potential challenges of adulthood.  If a child lacks the skills necessary to succeed .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2007

Step Six: Plant the Right Things in Summer Vacation, lazy days, visits to the park, swimming, relaxing at the beach? Or is summer only a leftover idea from a previous era—agrarian days when children were taken out of school to help on the farm?That’s the problem, isn’t it? .... By: Dr Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2007

Step Five: Training Your Child to Be Successful in Adulthood Years ago I was preparing to spend several weekends in Mexico City. I decided to take a Spanish course so I could at least ask for agua when I was thirsty. However, the class I took was more frustrating than .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2007

Step Four: A Template for Decision Making "But how do you know how to make the right decision?" asked a 13-year-old boy living at Sheridan House. He had just made yet another bad decision with some friends at school. His consequence was to cut grass that afternoon .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2007

Step Three: No Must Mean No Each month of 2007, The Family Advocate presents a step in an intentional plan for parenting. Instead of parenting by incident or activity, we are parenting on purpose. January’s article kicked off with the challenge to choose to parent your .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2007

Step Two: Keep Your Parenting Balance Much of life is about balance—finding a balance between work and play or maintaining a balanced budget. In the Parenting on Purpose process, nothing is more important than the balance between relationship and discipline. The right disciplinary program gives a child .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2007

The Twelve Steps of Parenting Recently I bought a piece of furniture—a large hardwood table. When it arrived, the table came in a box from another country, and had eighty pieces to assemble. Included was a small wrench and a 28-page book of directions. The .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2007

Don't Miss Opening the Best Christmas Gifts The amount of time parents spend planning, shopping, buying, wrapping, opening, and then storing Christmas presents is astounding. If we added up all the time we spend in the holiday gift process, I hope we’d be embarrassed. Time so wasted. .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2006

Why is "Thank You" So Important? Understanding "Thank You" is one of the most missing elements in our culture.  "Thank you" is also one of the most important lessons a parent should teach a child. One of the most significant realities we need to teach our .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2006

What Do I Do About Lying (part 2) Last month we began discussing what parents should do when children are lying. I gave the example of a child lying due to low self-esteem.  But what about the lie that signals a little more than, "I don't want to .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2006

Self-Esteem: What Mirror Do You Hold Up? When Torrey, my oldest child, began school, somehow I felt she no longer needed my approval as much as before. She was older, and other people, like her teachers, were in charge. Because Daddy was so busy, I began to .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2006

Marriage - A Strong Foundation Why does it seem so difficult for people to stay married these days? Why do people choose to live together before marriage even though the divorce rate is higher for those who cohabit before marriage? We are surrounded by married .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2006

Do You Want to Raise a Child or an Adult? I was standing on the sideline of my younger child’s soccer field. My son, Robey, was ten at the time, and playing in one of his last games of the season. While standing with several other dads, one of them .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2006

What Do I Do About Lying? Part 2 Last month we began discussing what parents should do when children are lying. I gave the example of a child lying due to low self-esteem.  But what about the lie that signals little more than, “I don’t want to get .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2006

What Do I Do About Lying? Part 1 of 2 “His constant lying is driving me crazy!” This is not an unusual comment to hear from a parent of a seven or eight-year-old. Parents always want to know why their child doesn’t tell the truth, and perhaps that is the .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2006

Who Is Responsible? IN MANY HOMES parents accept too much responsibility for their child’s behavior.  Pete and Diane were parents that shouldered all the responsibility for the behavior and consequences of their son, Nathan.Nathan’s behavior had progressed to a point where he wasn’t .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2006

Time For A "STATE OF YOUR UNION" January is the month that we review the events of the last year.  The President gives us a State of the Union Address.  He reviews last year and gives us his plans for the next year.  Some Churches report on .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2006

The Myth Of Fair “Why did God let this happen to us, mommy?”  This is a question eight year old Jennifer asked while her mommy was putting her to bed.  It is a logical question to ask after this season of hurricanes, and it .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2005

This Season of Hurricanes Actually Offered Us a Blessing The book of Romans makes an incredibly brash declaration: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).  However, what about hurricanes?  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2005

Parents, Make Storms Work For You Are storms good for anything?  Jesus sure thought they were.  On more than one occasion He sent his Disciples directly into a storm.  Jesus used storms as great learning tools, and as parents, we can certainly follow His example.  Since .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2005

What Do We Need Family For? We are heading deeper into a time when our society is questioning the need for the traditional family structure.  Questions are being asked like: “Do we really need family?  Does it really fit this modern culture?  Does the traditional family .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2005

Use The Four "Rs" And Have A Winning School Year! Parents could learn a lot from professional football coaches.  Right now before the season begins, coaches are not just thinking about getting through it.  They are already working to help every player bring his “A” game to opening day. The coaching .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2005

Your Child's Failures are Great Instructors “We want every child to be free of the fear of failure,” was the statement an educator recently said to me.  This particular school system was pursuing up a new way of evaluating the educational progress of their students.  No .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2005

Family Life Savings Time In April of each year we reset our clocks and spring forward.  Again, in October we reset our clocks and fall back one hour.  I vote for another shift in scheduling.  Along with daylight savings time, summers need to become .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/15/2005

Two Words Every Father Must Say Years ago I was standing in the front yard of one the boys’ homes at Sheridan House having a heated discussion with one of the twelve year old boys in the program.  He had been accused of doing something at .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2005

Mother's Day Is For Your Kids If you were given the plot to destroy the American culture, the obvious place to begin would be the family.  The family is the training ground for societal necessities such as commitment to others and compassion for others.  The family .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2005

Teaching The Most Difficult Lesson This past month I saw one of the most amazing displays of great parenting I have ever seen.  There are arguably seven or eight things every child needs to know in order to be able to find God’s plan for .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2005

Lose The Bunny Use The Eggs The most significant holiday on the Christian calendar is once again upon us.   This special day, however is so clouded by cultural tradition, that many church attendees have forgotten what they are to celebrate.  One woman went so far as .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2005

Raise Your Child to be a Great Lover This being the “Love Month” the topic of love is worthy of discussion … even in a parenting article.  In fact, teaching children the proper understanding of love might be one of the most neglected areas of parenting.  And, that .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2005

Are You In the Ultimate Family Reality Show? Have you ever felt like you are on a “Family Reality” show?  That there are just too many family and parenting responsibilities, and it is impossible to get them all done?  There must be a hidden camera somewhere in the .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2005

The Origin Of My Best Christmas All of my life Christmas has been one of the most exciting times of the year.  Beginning with intense expectancy on Christmas Eve, I anxiously awaited the gifts I would receive from my wonderfully, overindulgent parents.  This excitement carried over .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2004

There's Something Similar About Palm Pilots and Sex There is something similar about sex and my Palm Pilot.  When I was given the gift of my first Palm Pilot,  no one gave me instructions on its use.  Nor did I bother to read the instructions on its use.  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2004

Preparing Your Child For Hurricanes The media does a great job of getting us ready for hurricanes.  During this time of the year, there are many families glued to the television watching  as hurricanes intensify off shore.  At the same time, there are little eyes .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2004

Affair Proofing Your Child's Marriage "Can a parent actually affair proof their child's marriage?"  We're certainly supposed to try.  As parents we must have a mind set to take steps to affair proof the future marriages of our children.  Today's parent must take the training .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2004

The Most Important Parent Planning Month I recently attended a church potluck dinner.  There was an astounding amount of food on the tables, as well as an overwhelming variety of delicacies.  Rosemary (my wife), decided ahead of time what she would eat and carefully chose how .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2004

Value Family with Family Values What is the value of family today?  Does family still have a purpose?  Should we still value the family unit, as we have known it for thousands of years?We certainly should not value family simply for the sake of tradition.  .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2004

My Child Has Become A Lawyer -- He Loves to Argue! It is good for your lawyer to enjoy arguing, because that is what they are trained to do.  Perhaps that is why some children do a lot of arguing.  As parents, we have inadvertently trained our child to argue.If you .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 06/01/2004

Raise Your Child To Be Business Wise Today, are we training a child to handle business transactions or are most children left to be eaten alive by the sharks of sales?  Parents must prepare the next generation how to speak up and negotiate proper business deals.  If .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 05/01/2004

You Need A Mommy Very Badly It was one of the great lines from the movie "Hook".  Dustin Hoffman, playing Captain Hook, was being rude and behaving so poorly that the little six year daughter of Peter Pan realized what the need was in this bad .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 04/01/2004

Send Your Child Through Temptation Camp Today’s parents are doing a lot of great training, and preparing their children academically and athletically.  Many parents have accepted the assignment of building the faith of their offspring  but, there is another very important lesson that needs to be .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2004

Dealing With Relationship CANCER: ANGER Some children hear the word "No" and they become frustrated or argue. They are disappointed, but they remain in control.  Other children hear the same word and explode into rage.   Some adults can discuss differences of opinion and work through .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 02/01/2004

Use Those "TIME EATING" Christmas Gifts To Teach Last month I received a phone call from a parent asking my opinion about Play Station and other forms of video games.  The mother calling asked, 'Doesn’t these video games become addictive and cause kids to waste many precious hours .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 01/01/2004

Figuring Out Romance It was our eighth year of marriage and my wife Rosemary asked me a very defining question.  "Do you think a night of romance is always supposed to end with sex?"I stared off into space knowing that my answer was .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 12/01/2003

Is It A Problem When Parents Do Not Agree? Is it okay for a husband and wife to disagree on the way they parent their child? This is a question asked at Parenting Seminars almost every week. It is not only okay, it is natural!  The top three areas .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 11/01/2003

The Electronic Family Moat It is dinnertime and the phone starts ringing.  Some of the calls are salesmen, some calls are from friends; but they are still interrupting your family time.  Why do we permit that interruption to happen? The year was 1990 and .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 10/01/2003

The Final Lesson Before Leaving Home For the past eight months this column has described six mandatory lessons every child must be taught before leaving home.  It all begins with a core value. Every child must be taught to function from a core value rather than .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 09/01/2003

Helping Your Child With Emotions Seven-year old Larry was brought to a counselor because he was using inappropriate behavior for handling his disappointments.  In other words, he was hitting other kids when he did not get his way.Yesterday's child learned how to deal with emotions .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 08/01/2003

Time To Talk About Sex For thousands of years children grew up in an agrarian culture.  That meant by four or five years of age they had already seen farm animals engaged in sexual activities.  It was not a shock to them; it was simply .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 07/01/2003

It's Time To Teach Time Mothers across America have been heard to say, "I hope you know we will never go through this again!"  This phrase has been shouted right after the weekend of the science project nightmare.  Once again the project has been put .... By: Dr. Bob BarnesPosted: 03/01/2003