Family Life Savings Time
In April of each year we reset our clocks and spring forward. Again, in October we reset our clocks and fall back one hour. I vote for another shift in scheduling. Along with daylight savings time, summers need to become “Family Life Savings Time”.
Summer gives families a great opportunity to begin Family Life Savings Time. But, this wonderful opportunity can be easily missed if we are not consciously aware of it. Family Life Savings time, however, starts with a few questions that need to be answered? What is the summer for anyway? Why do we change our clocks? Why are kids given the summer off from school? What is summer all about?
Originally clocks were switched because farmers needed more daylight in the summer months. Children were out of school during the summers because their families needed them to help during the busy crop season. In short, the summer break was created because families needed to be together.
It is still true today, but for different reasons. Parents no longer need their children to help do the farming; but children need this time so their parents can do family. Summer is the family rescue season. There is “Daylight Savings Time” why not think of summer as the “Family Life Savings Time”.
The rest of the year is so busy with activities. Every waking hour is spent on one of three things; activities which includes school, church and sports; preparing or practicing for those activities; being transported to-and-from these activities. Food and sleep are stuffed into a child’s life around their schedule of activities. During the hectic school year there is very little room for family time.
One of the main comments counselors and youth pastors hear from teens today is they feel like the have no relationship with their parents. Teens feel all alone as they face a very harsh world. They are not only alone, but they are unprepared to deal with their world. These two factors have led children to become very angry. As parents we are challenged to deal with this anger. Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus gives parents the formula during this time. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 KJV)
This particular translation of the verse gives us a formula for the summer. No one wants to raise an angry child. To avoid provoking the child to wrath or anger, parents must find the time to bring two things into the family schedule: nurture which can be called an encouraging loving relationship, and, admonition which means training and discipline.
There needs to be a balance, and this balance takes time and investment on the part of the parent. So, summers are still for growing, but it is kids instead of crops. Summer is a family relationship growing season.
A good farmer spends time thinking through what he is going to plant. He doesn’t wait to see what happens to pop out of the ground. The farmer prepares for the summer growing season and plants seeds good seeds for growing.
Like the farmer, the parent needs to begin by deciding what “seeds” need to be planted in their child’s life. What would you like to see growing in your child this summer? The Ephesians passage gives us a look at two different kinds of crops. One is in the area of relationship and the other is in the area of training.
The parent-child relationship is a time issue. That is why it is often so difficult during the busy school year. But it doesn’t have to be that way in the summer. It’s a matter of making relationship a priority by putting it on the calendar. Get out front and save time for family. Instead of desperately trying to find lots of activities to fill in the child’s summer schedule, decide to spend time together.
Will the child like it? Some will and some will be intimidated. During the school year many children have become more comfortable with their friends than their family. The thought of spending one-on-one time with a parent, as well as, a couple evenings a week playing games and putting together model airplanes will be threatening. But that’s okay as long as the parent keeps the goal in mind.
Time spent together working on a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle is an activity to build relationship. Avoid arguments at all cost. It is not about winning the monopoly game, but about playing the game together. Decide ahead of time to have fun. Remember you are planting the seeds of relationship.
I can hear the question: “What do I do if my child doesn’t want to put a model together or spend time with me?” Of course they will not! The time the child has spent with their parent during the year, has been time the child has been reamed out the door while hearing the parent scream, “Hurry up! We are going to be late!”
Under those circumstances, the thought of spending more time together this summer doesn’t sound too appealing. The parent must decide the purpose is to build a relationship rather than accomplish an activity. Follow through by making the time together both fun and encouraging. Remember, this summer is going to be Family Savings Time, so use the time appropriately.
The second seed talked about in Ephesians is the seed of training. In our own home we used the summer to schedule training in two areas: Faith and Responsibility.
By carving out extra time each day in the summer we took a longer time to sit down and read the Bible together. We also read age-appropriate spiritual growth books out loud. When our children were little, we had a longer time of Bible reading in the morning. We were able to spend time either at the breakfast table or in the family room reading and talking about what we read. We would then discuss ways to live out what we were studying.
Responsibility was also a key part of our summers. This was the time our children were taught how to do their chores. Summer was spent practicing how to take the garbage out, as well as how to remember to take the garbage out without being reminded. That way each child was ready to maintain this chore when the busy school year began.
Taking time to teach this chore has nothing to do with the chore itself. It was not my desire to raise a proficient “garbage can man”. As parents, it was our desire to train a responsible adult. Garbage provided the opportunity to do the training.
Summer provides an amazing time to be family and teach the things only a family can teach. There is great value in having the summers off from school and all the other busy performance activities. Summers are no longer for growing crops, but summer is a much needed season for growing great, godly kids.