Help! My Child Might Be Cutting
Today, "cutting" has become a very private reaction to personal pain for many teens, especially girls. They feel unequipped to deal with or express their pain so cutting themselves has become an outlet. The teen is reacting to pain inappropriately, but the parent must respond to this phenomenon appropriately. The following are some very basic steps that parents should take if they suspect their child is cutting their flesh.
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Step 1: Be Aware. Cutting is a phenomenon that is taking place today as a way of dealing with emotional pain. Get informed on this phenomenon.
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Step 2: Be Vigilant. If your teen is spending an inordinate amount of time alone, watch for additional signs. Is your teen wearing long sleeve clothes all the time or other clothes that cover areas like the arms or legs? Is this the first summer you teenager would not wear a bathing suit for fear of showing the cut marks? Pay close attention. Choose to be vigilant. Obviously spending time alone and wearing more clothes is not the sole indicator of cutting, but a child who is isolating him/herself and who is seemingly more despondent than usual, bears extra observation.
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Step 3: Be Bold. Ask your teen if he/she knows anyone who is cutting. Discuss it openly. Additionally, ask if he/she has ever considered cutting. “Honey, let me ask you one more question, have you experimented with cutting?” Be gentle, but aggressive. Don’t be afraid of bringing up the topic. If you get the answer you don’t want to hear, stay calm and listen. When a child reveals this secret, it is a huge step of trust. Remember to just take it one moment at a time.
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Step 4: Be Involved. The best preventive or proactive step you can take is to open your calendar and your ears to your teen. Cutting is typically a silent scream for help. Find the time, choose the venue, and spend quality time with your teenager. It may be a challenge to break into his/her mind and heart, but it’s a challenge worth accepting. No one wants to fight this battle alone, least of all your child. Affirm his/her worth and your unwavering love by spending time, preferably away from home, listening to his/her heart. Your mouth may push him/her away; however, listening ears may easily draw him/her back (James 1:19).
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Step 5 Be Firm. If you discover or even suspect that your teen is involved in cutting, call a Christian counselor for help. Don’t wait. Don’t hope it will go away. Don’t even try to make sense of it. Get help!