Sexting: What Parents Should Know
"Sexting? What is that?" That was one mother's first reaction when she heard a recent news story about some middle school kids charged with the "crime." Sadly it was her 12-year-old daughter who said, "Mom, a girl in my school was caught doing that. Half the kids in the school have the picture on their phone or have seen it."
Much like a cell phone text, "Sexting" is the act of sending nude or partially nude photos via a cell phone. Once a photo text is sent, the recipient can share it with others or post it on the internet for the world to see. With cell phones containing built in cameras, there's been a significant increase in this activity among teens. A recent survey conducted by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy shows that 20% of teens admit they've sent or posted naked or semi-naked photos or videos of themselves just for fun.
In addition to the psychological impact to kids who have been caught or seen their pictures escape beyond their intended audience, there can be additional consequences. Recently, several teenagers across the country have been charged with possessing or disseminating child pornography, a felony that carries a jail sentence and a lifetime listing on sex-offender registries. Due to the gravity of this behavior and its potential impact on your child's life, you should educate yourself and put in place a plan to address with your kids. Denying that this type of vulgarity is happening, or that your child will make the right decision when faced with the opportunity just because you've raised them right, may not be enough.
So, what can parents do to protect their children from this new fad?
First, look for opportunities to bring up the topic of sexting with your child. Media coverage makes it easier to broach the subject. Use a news story as a catalyst to engage your kids in discussion. For instance, last year, Jessica Logan, an Ohio teen, committed suicide after her nude photo, intended for her boyfriend, was sent to teenagers at several high schools. Her father revealed that she was the subject of teasing and ridicule and was overwhelmed with embarrassment. "Everyone knew about that photo. She could not live it down" he said.
Let them know that once something is shared on a cell phone or posted on the Internet, they can't change their mind and get it back. It can haunt them for life and can be seen by anyone in the future, even potential employers or college recruiters. Education and communication are fundamental.
Second, understand a little more about the technology they are using. If your child has a camera phone, they are at a greater risk for creating and sending inappropriate photos. You know your child well enough to answer the question, "Does my child really need a phone with a camera?"
Third, parents should set clear boundaries about cell phone use and establish an agreement with a child that, if suspicion arises, his or her phone can be randomly checked for indecent texting or sexting. Encourage your children that if they receive a sext, they should tell you immediately.
Finally, use these discussions with your children to reassure them of their value. Dads, tell your daughters often how beautiful they are on the inside and out. Although boys are participating in this behavior, girls are especially at high-risk for exposing their bodies to gain acceptance from boys. Moms, teach your sons ways in which they can demonstrate respect for women. Reinforce God-exalting principles of sexuality, healthy self-esteem, and respect for self and others. Remember, God will bless your efforts to instruct and protect your children as you continue to raise them in the knowledge of all that is good, pure, and honorable. (Proverbs 22:6)
If you are concerned that your child is continuing to be involved in or exposed to this behavior, it is recommended that you seek confidential help. The counselors at Sheridan House are trained to evaluate individuals and develop a plan specifically designed with your child's best interest at heart. For more information or to schedule an appointment, contact Sheridan House Counseling Center at (954) 880-9038.
