There's Something Similar About Palm Pilots and Sex
There is something similar about sex and my Palm Pilot. When I was given the gift of my first Palm Pilot, no one gave me instructions on its use. Nor did I bother to read the instructions on its use. Without the right information, I used my Palm Pilot as a paper weight on my desk, and to play games. It looked great, but I really did not know what to do with it or how it should function. Let's face it, I abused it! I didn't even wait and charge the battery for the appropriate amount of time. I wanted the Palm Pilot to do something for me immediately. And, I just did not want to make the effort to wait and learn.
Finally, a friend suggested I read the manufacturer's manual. It took a while to read through the manual, because technical writers have been taught how not to write in straight-forward, everyday, understandable English. But, after struggling through the reading, I finally understood the instructions. Now, my Palm Pilot and I are one.
It is the same with sex. There is the need to wait, but there is also the need to get the right information. There is so much misleading information out their, and our kids are totally misinformed about how to properly handle their sexuality. Now that we are knee-deep in the new television season, sex will be a discussion for our kids at school and even on play grounds…yes, children as young as those on the playgrounds! Like it or not, there are parents who either do not know enough to stop their children from watching inappropriate television, or they do not know what their kids are watching. If there is a television in a child's bedroom, it's a cinch that parent has no idea what the child is watching…or who the child is listening to.
Having said that, parents need to be proactive rather than reactive. Today's parent needs to help their children understand their sexuality.
We are decades past the time when Christian parents acted like God did not really create us to be sexual beings. Years ago many parents avoided talking to their children about sex as if it was something that sinful man discovered and developed. The Bible tells us otherwise.
As we look into the Sexual Manufacturer's Manual, we find in the creation passage that our Manufacturer, God, created us in His own image…creating them to be male and female. Then the Bible says
"He blessed them and told them, "Multiply … "(Genesis 1:28, NLT). God's first commandment to the first man and his wife was to have sex. The Bible says He blessed them. (Face it, there is no blessing in the birthing process). The blessings are the privilege of having children (most of the time) and of having the intimacy of a God-honoring sexual relationship. This is a gift from God to husbands and wives.
As parents, we need to take back sex education for our children. It is a gift from God, not the media. The Creator of sex had a very definite plan for the whole sexual experience. Parents cannot be silent about it. We need to teach our children.
The proper training of God honoring sex begins with the example that parents demonstrate. Yes, sex is great but as the Manufacturer has said, it is a gift to be experienced between a husband and wife. This means every time a child sees Dad staring at a woman, other than his own wife, doubt is cast. "Why is Dad staring at that woman walking by…at that woman on television…or, looking through his binoculars at that cheerleader at the game". Dad's personal eye-discipline sets an example for his son.
Dad's personal eye-discipline also helps to teach his daughter that she does not have to dress provocatively to get a man's attention. Of course, that depends on the way mom chooses to dress also.
On the proactive side of sexual education, our kids need to see affection between mom and dad. They also need to be taught that moms and dads need personal, marriage time. The next generation must see us enjoy and thus endorse God's plan for sex within marriage.
After setting the example, then comes sexual education. Few parents are comfortable talking to their nine-year-old about sex. But, if we do not talk to our children, others with wrong ideas will. And, if others take our responsibility as parents, our children will not get the story right. This will impact their teenage years and subsequently their own marriage.
Get a Christian book on the topic and read it out loud to your children. One book that has been tried and true is Larry Christenson's book,
The Wonderful Way That Babies Are Made. The children may or may not understand the first time you read the book, so you may have to read it every couple of months. The questions will not come after the first reading, but they will come eventually. Be prepared to give straight forward answers to the child's questions.
After teaching the child the biology of the sexual experience, talk to the child about the discipline of sexual purity. "Son, you have an opportunity to be preparing your best wedding present for your future bride … even now. That wedding present will be your virginity."
Give your children a role-model such as Joseph in Genesis Chapter 39. In fact, use Joseph's life as a Bible study for the whole family. Joseph refused to let God down by caving in to sexual pressure. This is the kind of leader we want to raise.
My Palm Pilot works great now because I did two things. First, I followed the directions of the manufacturer, and second, I got help from an older and much wiser Palm Pilot user. He taught me that my Palm Pilot was not a toy, but a gift that could bless me if I used it properly. Bless your child today with that kind of training about his/her sexuality and they will grow up to bless their spouse. More significantly, they will be using their gift the way the Manufacturer designed it to be used.