Love Them No Matter What
It is significant that the child comes to a point where he realizes that no matter what he does, he will be held responsible for his behavior. But it is even more significant that a child sees that his parents love him, no matter what he does.
Remember John Hinckley, Jr.? He came from a fine Christian home where he was taught right from wrong by his parents. In the early part of President Reagan’s first term, this young man shocked the nation when he shot the president.
It is safe to say that this young man had never done anything that could have dissappointed and embarrased his parents more than this one event. I’m sure that they spent weeks, and maybe more, in tears. They were hounded by reporters and went through a horrible form of societal punishment because of their son’s behavior.
Listening to them talk on television gave me a special appreciation for this hurting couple. I gained even more appreciation for them as I watched the trial of their son. No matter what his behavior, no matter what pain he caued in their lives, he was obviously still their son. He was on trial to face the consequences of his actions, and there they were, sitting with him for all the world to see. They certainly did not support his behavior, but they were there to support their son.
This is a beautiful picture of how a parent must deal with a child’s unacceptable behavior: Attack the behavior, not the child. This is not a new concept; it’s been around since the beginning of time. Our heavenly Father established a behavioral plan for His children to live by. This plan was for mankind’s own good and development.
God gave these behavioral boundaries to Moses in the form we know as the Ten Commandments. As mankind violated these behavioral rules, the consequences had to be faced. One consequence was too steep for man to have to face, however. When and individual sins or chooses to go against the preestablished rules for behavior, the ultimate consequence is to be cut off from God.
Since our heavenly Father, in His perfection as the Creator, cannot look upon sin, when a person sins he is in essence choosing to pull away from the Father’s love. The Father, in response, attacked the problem while loving His children. He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the consequence for our sin. Mankind did not deserve such love. Yet the Father chose to love us while dealing with our rebellious behavior.
This is a perfect example from a perfect Father. Our job is to emulate that formula: Deal with the behavior while loving the child. That way it will eventually become obvious to the child that his parents are on his side.
Excerpt from Who’s In Charge Here
