Start Your Own Affair At Home
Carol and Barry had just finished watching a movie, and they were sitting at either end of the same couch.
As they both stared straight ahead, Carol spoke wistfully “That couple seemed so happy, ” She sighed. “Their affair looked absolutely dreamy.”
Barry and Carol had been married for fourteen years. They had become apathetic toward their love life and each other. Oh, they were cordial and considerate, but it was a courtesy you would show a casual acquaintance. Somehow the romantic side of their relationship had been lost.
Carol’s comment surprised Barry. He didn’t think that she had any romantic thoughts anymore. “What about their relationship did you find ‘dreamy,’ as you put it?” he asked, still not looking at her.
Carol thought for a moment and said, “People who are having affairs seem to find the time to talk to each other. They call each other. They make plans to be together. They actually want to make each other happy. I don’t know whether that guy in the movie really wanted to have a picnic on the beach, but he did it because she wanted to. It seems like people who are having affairs try harder to keep their relationship exciting.”
Barry thought for a moment. “It doesn’t seem like two people have to go outside their marriage to have an affair,” Barry began. “A husband could have an affair with his wife. They wouldn’t even have to sneak around or worry about getting caught.”
Barry wasn’t talking about their marriage. He was just saying that the writers could have put a married couple in an exciting relationship just as easily. But the moment the words were out of his mouth, he began thinking about the magnitude of his statement. He had incriminated his own marriage. As the impact of the statement struck him, Barry turned to look at Carol. By then, she was in tears. He pulled her close to him and held her as she wept. Finally he broke the ice and said, “I guess I haven’t been a very romantic guy to be married to, have I?”
“It’s not you,” Carol said between the sobs. “It’s us. We love each other don’t we?” She paused to look up at him for assurance.
“Of course we do,” Barry reassured his wife. “We love each other. We just don’t know how to be in love.”
No longer crying, Carol continued, “I’ve allowed our sex life to become ho-hum because I just didn’t know what to do. Look at us We sit at opposite ends of the couch and watch other people have affairs.”
Then Barry broke in with a thought. “What if we had an affair?”
“What!” Carol shot up in her seat and faced him.
“No!” Barry cut her off. “I mean, what if we decided to have an affair with each other?”
“Oh,” Carol sat back, relaxed. “That’s ridiculous.”
Barry didn’t agree, but he kept quiet. He felt as if he had an answer for their stagnant marriage and sex life. So he decided he was going to start pursuing his wife as if she were a woman married to someone else. No matter how hard she tried to avoid his advances, he was going to pursue this married woman. Even if she was married to him!
That was Monday night Tuesday morning at 10:00, Barry called Carol at her office. The receptionist buzzed Carol’s phone to say she had a call. “Who is it?” Carol asked the receptionist.
“Carol,” the receptionist hesitated. “When I asked him who he was, he said his name was Barry. I recognized his voice and said, ‘Oh hi, Barry,’ but he acted as if he didn’t know me. I mean I think it’s your husband, but he didn’t act like your husband. Anyway, he said his name was Barry.”
Carol picked up the phone a little bewildered and said, “Hello.”
“Carol,” said the voice she recognized as her husband’s, “my name is Barry. I was at your office Christmas party last year with a friend of mine. She told me who you were, and I’ve been thinking about you ever since. I know we haven‘t been introduced yet, but I couldn’t wait any longer to meet you. Will you meet me for lunch? I want to get to know you, and I want you to know me. Before you turn me down, let me say that I‘ve already made reservations for two at Trader Vic‘s for twelve noon. I’ll be waiting there in a blue suit and a red tie. I hope you won‘t disappoint me.” Click.
They sat at lunch for an hour that day and just talked. Barry‘s attentiveness was reminiscent of their dating years; he was totally focused on her. As he walked her to her car he made one more announcement. “I called Elaine this morning and asked her if we could drop off the kids at 6:30. I have 7:00 dinner reservations at Winston’s.”
“Can we afford to do all this?’ Carol asked.
“I’ll be fine as long as my wife doesn‘t find out,“Barry shouted back at her as he walked away. It was loud enough to embarrass her since several other people were in the parking lot, but she just got in her car and drove away.
“What an idiot he is,” Carol thought as she pulled back into her office parking lot. “But he‘s a romantic idiot!“
That night they sat at the restaurant for three hours. For the first time in years, they began to talk about their sex life. Finally Carol giggled that she felt so uncomfortable. When Barry asked why, she said, “Well, I decided that I was going to get into this little game of yours, and I wanted to wear something you would like.“
Barry cut in with, “I noticed you wore my favorite dress. You look very sexy tonight.”
“Not as sexy as I feel,” Carol responded. “I left work a little early and stopped off at Victoria Secret on the way home. I picked up something I think you‘ll like. I‘m wearing it beneath this dress. Two can play this game you know.“
Barry all but dropped his water in his lap.
“You used to hint about my getting something from Victoria‘s Secret, but I always felt too foolish and unsexy to walk in there. If we’re going to have this ‘affair,“I‘rn going to have to risk trying to seduce you. Unfortunately, all I‘ve been thinking about is what would happen if we had an accident and my new black silk lingerie had to be cut off me. What a waste.“
Barry’s eyes opened wider and a grin slowly spread across his face. As Carol smiled back at him, they both realized they were now on the same page. The first page of a steamy novel about two people who were in the back corner of a restaurant, learning to love each other.
Excerpt taken from Great Sexpectations
Tags: love, marriage, relationship, romance, sex
