What Parents Can Do To Get Out In Front Of Sexting

Knowing that sexting exists and how to check for it is extremely important.  But each parent will want to do more to protect their teens.  Is there such a thing as sexting prevention?

The quick answer is “No.”  Unless each of us moves to a mountain and turns off all technology, there is no way to be totally sure that our teens won’t be scarred by the plague of sexting.  However, there are some important steps that each parent can take as Victoria Womack referred to in her excellent article Sexting:  What Every Parent Should Know.

At the root of sexting is the need for attention.  In this incredibly fast-paced, performance-oriented society, teens are desperate for attention.  Some find attention by performing well in the prescribed teen arenas such as sports, academics or music.  Others search for attention any place they can find it.

For a girl in need of feeling significant to someone … anyone, sexting offers an alternative venue.  The teenage daughter who has an older sister that excels at everything is very vulnerable.  She’d like to just win anything.  Sexting makes her a momentary star, as perverse as that is.

For a boy, acquiring a photo of a girl and then forwarding it on to his friends proves his conquest.  There’s little thought to the fact that he has just taken part in the handling of child pornography.

Once again we have an alarm going off for busy parents.  If the underlying issue luring a teen into sexting is to receive attention and a sense of worth, as a parent you should ask yourself, “What does my teenager need to do to get my undivided attention?”

This is a time for parents to decide to jump into the life of their teen.  Awkward as that was at first for me with my daughter, time together became a very valuable appointment in my life.  Weekly breakfasts, monthly dinners out alone – just the two of us, and time spent driving together in the car provided the format.  However, I had to provide the atmosphere.  I had to value her opinion and let her talk. I had to talk less and listen more.  I had to work to find those moments when I could say, “That’s awesome!” or “Yes, let’s do that!” or “I agree with you.” or better yet, “I never thought of that.”  Then once we arrived home I repeated her ideas to her mom revealing that I had listened to her and learned something from her.

Parents, especially dads, need to find ways to fill up the teen’s value tank.  In a manner of speaking, the sexting child is suffering from “attention deficit.”  It’s a deficit that can and needs to be corrected.

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