January 2012
Teacher Appreciation
With excitement and joy, the Sheridan House residential program girls decorated the teacher’s lounge at Walter C. Young Middle School to show their tremendous appreciation for a great school year. The theme for the event was a Mexican Fiesta and the food was generously provided by Lime Fresh Mexican Grill of Pembroke Gardens. (more…)
Letter of Gratitude…
When I first came to Sheridan House, I was newly single with 3 children. I was scared and was stepping into the unknown of raising 3 kids on my own. I moved to Florida after I divorced to be closer to my parents because I knew that my mother would be my greatest help in raising my kids. Unfortunately, my mom passed in December 2010. It was then that my church introduced me to Sheridan House and I have never been so blessed. (more…)
Another Great Story…
Most of the boys in Sheridan House have trouble expressing their emotions appropriately or discussing feelings when things are difficult. So, when house mom, Terri, discovered a partial self portrait of Travis crumbled up in the back of the van, she knew it was a learning experience in the making. Travis had the beginning of something great, but he gave up too soon. (more…)
Another Great Story…
Parent of the Year
The parents of our residential children recently participated in a holiday celebration dinner held in each of our homes. Traditionally, we incorporate a celebration of the children’s efforts and achievements with an awards ceremony. Additionally, each house also gives a “Parent of the Year” award. One of the homes awarded the “Parent of the Year” to an outstanding grandfather this year. (more…)
Another Great Story…
Our Sheridan House Journey by Cynthia Seely
One of the saddest things I relinquished as a single mom was being able to be available every second of every day for my children. I wanted to be that stay-at-home mom who greeted her children with healthy snacks and had energy to help with homework and special projects…the mother who was the neighborhood block parent! I felt robbed of being a “real mom” when I had to work several jobs. (more…)
Another Great Story…
Jesse’s father died several years back. He never got past it. He dealt with this huge loss using anger and withdrawing from life. In an effort to avoid hurting again, Jesse chose to keep people away with his explosive anger. The things he needed most – healthy relationships, someone to trust and talk to, an opportunity to have fun or participate in sports, etc. – were the last things he wanted. In short, all Jesse just wanted was to be left alone to drown in his own anger. (more…)
Why Are Today’s Teens So Violent?
Does it seem like there’s more teen violence today than there used to be? Every week there is a new story in the headlines that elicits the same response, “We didn’t expect that to happen here,” or “We never thought that child would do that.” Should we really be surprised? There is more teen anger; and it’s understandable.
Under the disguise of teen privacy and personal rights, we have left today’s teen without the one thing they should have the right to have – protection. Today’s teen is desperately in need of protection from the myriad of unhealthy influences in their lives.
Picture the world of today’s teen. The one thing today’s teens desperately have the right to trust… to count on… is the stability of their family. However, half of them only have one parent in the home. Their “truster” is broken because their family life is broken.
Picture their environments. School is supposed to be a safe place; a place created by the community for teens to go and learn. Instead, school has become such an unsafe environment that most adults would not choose to work there in fear of being injured. They have metal detectors welcoming students and police or security guards greeting them in the hallways. The take away for students is that adults don’t really care or, at least, care enough to make the school environment as safe as their work environments.
Another environment where they need protection is cyber-world. Today’s teen is given the right to communicate with anyone at anytime via a multitude of cyber-devices and often times without any parental supervision. If I wouldn’t let a stranger come into my house and sit in my teen’s bedroom, then why would I let a stranger do it via the cyber-world?
No wonder teens are so angry. No wonder they are acting out the violent moves they have played and practiced on the video and internet games. Many teens are angry, but there is an easy answer for parents – a response. The response is something everyone can do; it’s called relationship.
The changeable part of the equation regarding teen anger is the schedule of the parent. Teens need to know that their parents aren’t too busy or absent altogether. Whether it is a one-parent household or two-parent household, the teen needs a relationship with a parent who will not require them to perform for attention.
Here’s the trick. Teens will often act like they don’t want a relationship with their parents. Yet deep down inside, most of them want a relationship with a parent or adult who can show them the ropes and who they can trust with their greatest fears. One of the obvious reasons the teens make great life changes here at Sheridan House is because they are introduced to adults who care. Yes, there’s still discipline and accountability, but the adults still care and they express their caring attitude.
Today’s parent can combat teen violence by deciding right now that it’s time for a relationship. If your teen is older, expect resistance. Regardless, set the appointments for spending “uninterrupted by anyone’s mobile phone” time together. Then, choose to listen!
The violence is screaming at teens prompting them to question, “Whose am I anyway!?” Parents need to be saying, “You are mine. I love you. I value you… and I’m re-arranging my schedule so we can spend time together!”
Each teen desires and needs to belong to something. Left alone, it could be a gang or a boy/girlfriend relationship. If parents decide to be intentional, it should be a family, a church youth group, and ultimately, Jesus Christ.
Start Your Own Affair At Home
Carol and Barry had just finished watching a movie, and they were sitting at either end of the same couch.
As they both stared straight ahead, Carol spoke wistfully “That couple seemed so happy, ” She sighed. “Their affair looked absolutely dreamy.”
Barry and Carol had been married for fourteen years. They had become apathetic toward their love life and each other. Oh, they were cordial and considerate, but it was a courtesy you would show a casual acquaintance. Somehow the romantic side of their relationship had been lost.
Carol’s comment surprised Barry. He didn’t think that she had any romantic thoughts anymore. “What about their relationship did you find ‘dreamy,’ as you put it?” he asked, still not looking at her.
Carol thought for a moment and said, “People who are having affairs seem to find the time to talk to each other. They call each other. They make plans to be together. They actually want to make each other happy. I don’t know whether that guy in the movie really wanted to have a picnic on the beach, but he did it because she wanted to. It seems like people who are having affairs try harder to keep their relationship exciting.”
Barry thought for a moment. “It doesn’t seem like two people have to go outside their marriage to have an affair,” Barry began. “A husband could have an affair with his wife. They wouldn’t even have to sneak around or worry about getting caught.”
Barry wasn’t talking about their marriage. He was just saying that the writers could have put a married couple in an exciting relationship just as easily. But the moment the words were out of his mouth, he began thinking about the magnitude of his statement. He had incriminated his own marriage. As the impact of the statement struck him, Barry turned to look at Carol. By then, she was in tears. He pulled her close to him and held her as she wept. Finally he broke the ice and said, “I guess I haven’t been a very romantic guy to be married to, have I?”
“It’s not you,” Carol said between the sobs. “It’s us. We love each other don’t we?” She paused to look up at him for assurance.
“Of course we do,” Barry reassured his wife. “We love each other. We just don’t know how to be in love.”
No longer crying, Carol continued, “I’ve allowed our sex life to become ho-hum because I just didn’t know what to do. Look at us We sit at opposite ends of the couch and watch other people have affairs.”
Then Barry broke in with a thought. “What if we had an affair?”
“What!” Carol shot up in her seat and faced him.
“No!” Barry cut her off. “I mean, what if we decided to have an affair with each other?”
“Oh,” Carol sat back, relaxed. “That’s ridiculous.”
Barry didn’t agree, but he kept quiet. He felt as if he had an answer for their stagnant marriage and sex life. So he decided he was going to start pursuing his wife as if she were a woman married to someone else. No matter how hard she tried to avoid his advances, he was going to pursue this married woman. Even if she was married to him!
That was Monday night Tuesday morning at 10:00, Barry called Carol at her office. The receptionist buzzed Carol’s phone to say she had a call. “Who is it?” Carol asked the receptionist.
“Carol,” the receptionist hesitated. “When I asked him who he was, he said his name was Barry. I recognized his voice and said, ‘Oh hi, Barry,’ but he acted as if he didn’t know me. I mean I think it’s your husband, but he didn’t act like your husband. Anyway, he said his name was Barry.”
Carol picked up the phone a little bewildered and said, “Hello.”
“Carol,” said the voice she recognized as her husband’s, “my name is Barry. I was at your office Christmas party last year with a friend of mine. She told me who you were, and I’ve been thinking about you ever since. I know we haven‘t been introduced yet, but I couldn’t wait any longer to meet you. Will you meet me for lunch? I want to get to know you, and I want you to know me. Before you turn me down, let me say that I‘ve already made reservations for two at Trader Vic‘s for twelve noon. I’ll be waiting there in a blue suit and a red tie. I hope you won‘t disappoint me.” Click.
They sat at lunch for an hour that day and just talked. Barry‘s attentiveness was reminiscent of their dating years; he was totally focused on her. As he walked her to her car he made one more announcement. “I called Elaine this morning and asked her if we could drop off the kids at 6:30. I have 7:00 dinner reservations at Winston’s.”
“Can we afford to do all this?’ Carol asked.
“I’ll be fine as long as my wife doesn‘t find out,“Barry shouted back at her as he walked away. It was loud enough to embarrass her since several other people were in the parking lot, but she just got in her car and drove away.
“What an idiot he is,” Carol thought as she pulled back into her office parking lot. “But he‘s a romantic idiot!“
That night they sat at the restaurant for three hours. For the first time in years, they began to talk about their sex life. Finally Carol giggled that she felt so uncomfortable. When Barry asked why, she said, “Well, I decided that I was going to get into this little game of yours, and I wanted to wear something you would like.“
Barry cut in with, “I noticed you wore my favorite dress. You look very sexy tonight.”
“Not as sexy as I feel,” Carol responded. “I left work a little early and stopped off at Victoria Secret on the way home. I picked up something I think you‘ll like. I‘m wearing it beneath this dress. Two can play this game you know.“
Barry all but dropped his water in his lap.
“You used to hint about my getting something from Victoria‘s Secret, but I always felt too foolish and unsexy to walk in there. If we’re going to have this ‘affair,“I‘rn going to have to risk trying to seduce you. Unfortunately, all I‘ve been thinking about is what would happen if we had an accident and my new black silk lingerie had to be cut off me. What a waste.“
Barry’s eyes opened wider and a grin slowly spread across his face. As Carol smiled back at him, they both realized they were now on the same page. The first page of a steamy novel about two people who were in the back corner of a restaurant, learning to love each other.
Excerpt taken from Great Sexpectations
The Battle of Love vs Lust
Our relationship with God should impact all our other relationships; a Christ follower is called to love God, and thus uses things to serve people, but a person who lusts ignores God, and uses people to get the things he craves. Love lives to give while lust lives to get.
